5 Reasons You Should Not Have Children
I can't even count how many times I've heard "You'll definitely want kids someday, it's different when they're your own". I get it, children are a great thing. And I like them...but from far away. As in, they're in NYC and I'm in LA. Got it?
In my early twenties I still thought I wanted about 10 kids. OK, that's an exaggeration, but really I still wanted kids in my early twenties. Rewind about 3 years, and I totally changed my mind. I'm not sure what changed, other than my mind, but my desire to have kids completely left me. 100%. It's never returned. I can honestly say I don't regret the fact that the person I thought I would spend my life with, got up and left me and quickly started making babies with another woman. I applaud him. I would have been miserable with that life. I really dodged so many bullets in that scenario but...back to the babies. Don't get me wrong, kids are pretty cute and it's rewarding to see them learn and grow. But they are not for me.
And. That's. OK.
OK, OK, but my dog is my child. Can I have 5 more dogs? :) Yessss.
If your desire is to just have babies and you have no ability to agree otherwise, then I really don't know why you're reading this. This post isn't for you. Go visit BabiesRUs. Bye!
1) If you feel like you have more to do. Kids are not for you if you have so much more you want to do with your life. If you spent all your time doing what everyone else told you to do and actually forgot to live a little, then don't have kids. At least not yet. I'm not saying party your pants off (Maybe a few times), but do what you can't do with a child for as long as possible. Travel your little heart out. If working is your vice, you work those 12 hour days. All day, every day. You won't feel guilty because you're not leaving a child in someone else's care.
2) If you're selfish AF. Yes, it's totally fine to admit that you're selfish. This actually shows some maturity on your part. If you can barely take care of yourself and you find that task daunting. PLEASE, don't have kids. They aren't going to change you. You're selfish, remember? It's not fair to them. They don't need a parent that will sit on their phone all day taking Instagram Photos. They didn't ask to be brought into this world where you only care about yourself. They don't want to be pawned off to a sitter while you go on dates, watch your shows, party every night or go shopping. They don't need to be ignored all day because you're too busy doing things for yourself. Don't. Just don't do it.
3) If you can't wait to see how cute your kid will be. AHHH. This was my issue. Probably 70% of me wanted a child because there was a narcissistic part of me that just wanted to see a mini me running around. NO. That's the worst reason to have a child. Don't do it. Your child is not your arm candy. Your child is not an item. Don't have one if this is your reason. I'm sure you're child would be adorable, just visit him in your imagination.
4) If you're turning 35 and your eggs are disappearing. Nope. Still don't have them. Freeze your eggs if you're ever so slightly sure you'll regret not having children, but don't have them just because you're getting older. That's never a good reason. I mean you're probably smart by waiting this long and if your desire was to wait until you're that old, just make sure your health is in check because you have another 18 (more like 25) years of raising that kiddo. Or just don't.
5) If you would totally do a better job raising a kid that your parents did. Oh you sweet dear thing, please, you're the one that should never, ever have kids. This is half of us. This is the half that ruins the next half of the generations to come. Stop. You'll force your kid to take part in all the things your parents didn't allow you to do as a child. Your child will end up resenting you. You'll be too strict or too lenient, either way you're going to mess up that child. Please, you're the one that needs to go travel your heart out. You're the one that needs to go pursue your dreams now, don't live through your child. Please don't.
P.S. If you'd make a bad parent this is not a post to say go out and buy a dog. If you're Selfish AF, I don't want that dog to be in your life either. But, if you're all the other things, yes, go rescue a dog. A dog is a rewarding child who never speaks back to you. A dog is a great travel companion. A dog sometimes looks like its owner. :) A dog doesn't care if you can't bare children. And you totally would raise your dog better than your parents raised you!